Community & Charities

Better Living Tips
Font Size

Walking hand-in-hand with cancer patients

When relatives and friends are first diagnosed with cancer, many of us do not know how to deal with the situation or reassure them. Usually, we spout platitudes, such as: “I’m sure it’s nothing!” or “Don’t worry!” or “There are a lot of people whose condition are worse than yours”. Often, the subject is completely avoided for fear of hurting the patient’s feelings. In fact, often what makes the biggest impact on the patient isn’t the disease itself, but the emotional distress attached to it. The more they worry, the deeper their fears grow; and often they don’t want to or they can’t express these fears to those around them. The registered social workers from the HKACS-Jockey Club “Walking Hand-in-Hand” Cancer Family Support Project have the following suggestions for caring for those who have cancer.

It’s not a lonely road

Understand patients’ concerns from their perspective and try to find a solution together. For example, search for information on treatment, care of side effects, and financial support. The more patients understand, the less fear they will have. They will also feel that their friends and relatives understand their situation and are doing something practical to help.

Talk less and listen more

Asking about every little thing doesn’t necessarily show concern. In fact, some patients may even feel that such people are just looking for gossip and they may stop talking to them altogether! It’s best to encourage patients to express more of their feelings when they initiate the conversation. Listening patiently is the best support you can offer them.

Encourage them to “Living with cancer”

Try to help patients get over the “I have cancer; I can’t do anything” mentality. If the cancer is not spreading or if it is not serious, they should be encouraged to get their lives back on track by eating their favourite foods again; helping out with housework; going out, etc.

Of course, being sick is a pain; but caregivers probably face as much pressure as the patients, as they need to give them round-the-clock attention and care, and often their feelings and emotions are neglected by others and even themselves, causing physical and mental exhaustion. Clara Lam and Ken Tsao are experienced registered social workers with HKACS-Jockey Club “Walking Hand-in-Hand” Cancer Family Support Project and both have handled a number of similar cases over the years. Let’s see what recommendations they have for families of cancer patients.